I love my mother. I do. Or, I love the mother I had. Yes, she’s alive. Yes, she’s still my mother. But she’s not the mother I grew up thinking she was, and she’s not the mother I envisioned having at my age, as a mother myself.
My sons and I love each other “beyond beyond,” as we have always said, and as I write in Dedications in every book I write. They never fail to make my Mother’s Day wonderful, whether it’s flowers, a homemade card, dinner, or just a phone call to say, “I love you, Mom.”
It’s hard to talk to my mom now. She’s almost deaf so it’s nearly impossible to talk on the phone and she’s too far away to visit today. Her mind is not what it once was, and she refuses to work at making her body work. I know my mom loved me and my siblings. But none of us really remembers hugs, or laughter, or gifts from her. Our childhoods were not ideal, to put it nicely.
When I had children, I told myself I would never allow them to feel that way about me. I would strive to be a good mom and to never fail to let my kids know they are loved with all my heart. I would show them the meaning of “unconditional love.” I think I succeeded. At least I hope I did.
Whether you are a mother, a stepmother, an expectant mother, a grieving mother, or someone who has never been but who wants to be, I hope this day is exactly what you want it to be. If that means relaxing with coffee or tea in the morning or spending the day with your extended family, or just missing your mother who has passed, let it be so. Make the day yours – you’ve worked hard for it.
Happy Mother’s Day.